My friend Anna told me this fact and I seriously didn’t believe it, but it’s true: boys love being ignored.
There once was this guy and he wanted me to come over and hang out, get a drink. I really didn’t want to and said no. Poof! Like magic his interest in me went from average to constant texts and I could count on a call every weekend. Why is it that we need to ignore a guy for a guy to notice us?
Some people have stated that it’s probably a primal thing, where men still need a hunt in order to feel like they accomplished something. I don’t like it that in this statement the chick is the prey. No thank you. But maybe there is some truth to that statement, like this instinct is still in their DNA. Playing hard to get can be sexy, but what if you’re hard to want? Then what? You are just subtlety ignoring someone who doesn’t even know you exist. That’s the huge flaw in the hard-to-get game, if the other person isn’t interested in you, you can’t play.
But the question remains: why? What is the fun in it? Are guys even aware that they are driven by this law that a girl is only interesting if she isn’t interested? Do they know how annoying that is?!
I did research. My friend Steven had asked me the night before if I wanted to hang out. I was already about 3 hours asleep in my flannel jammies when he sent that, I mean dude it’s 01:00 am what do you expect from me? The next morning I had asked him why he was texting me and after he responded I ignored him the rest of the day. It was late at night when he caught me ignoring him and he asked me to the movies. So far Anna was right. The movies fell through and it became a hangout at his house with his friend Joe.
The hangout itself was pretty okay, after some discussions going nowhere I asked them point blank “Is playing hard-to-get sexy?”. After the initial shock of the question they answered that they both didn’t like it much, they didn’t like being ignored. Jeez, welcome to my world boys. I’ve got a masters degree in being ignored as my Twitter hero Fat Amy would say.
But they also said that a girl who says yes at the first try is probably desperate. Ergo you need to play hard ball or you’ll seem way too eager. I don’t really understand why a girl would seem desperate or over-eager if she says yes to a drink when a guy asks her. Don’t ask if you don’t want an answer.
A girl is supposed to be arrogant, but not too arrogant. A girl is supposed to play it cool or she’ll seem desperate. A girl is supposed to be absolutely gorgeous and the guys what do they look like? Yeah, they don’t have Efron’s abs or Gosling’s face and they certainly don’t have Dicaprio’s charm, no no. But in their minds they have all of that and more apparently because they act like they can get any girl.
So to the guys, here’s my advice: don’t act like you have the ability to be choosy. Try and be a nice guy and if that fails, hit the gym. Hard. Then we can talk.
To the girls, if you watch ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and you should, you know JLo is in one of the episodes. She plays writer Anita, she’s on Robyn’s news show where she talk about her new book called ‘Of Course You’re Still Single Take A Look At Yourself You Dumb Slut’ and damn it, she has a point. If you like a guy and he seems interested in you, sadly you can’t just say “Yes, yes a million times yes!” the very first time he asks you for a drink. Decline a couple of times and he’ll come running. Anita talks about the power of saying no and it seemed to work very well for her and who am I to argue with JLo?
Boys are dumb, like really really dumb and they will always drive us crazy, that’s just a fact. Tough if you know what the rules to the game are, you can actually start playing. And maybe even win.